Each profession has its own subtleties. The slang of professionals is incomprehensible to the layman, and part of professional jokes is built on this. The service sector is a special joke: those who deal with people become psychologists and philosophers. And clients, in turn, joke about the masters. Take, for example, jokes about manicure.
Jokes are divided into three categories: humor of masters, humor about masters and humor of clients.
Humor of the masters
For a long time working in the salon, each manicurist has accumulated a lot of funny cases. But there is something in common that unites them: a pre-holiday price list for services. He needs an explanation. The fact is that a good master is recorded in advance. And before the big holidays (New Year, March 8, September 1), it is better to do this a month in advance. But there are naive clients who come without an appointment and ask to find time for them. On this occasion, the masters composed a playful price list (in rubles).
- Stand over the soul – 450.
- Cry into a vest - 500.
- Give advice to the master - 550.
- Help the master – 300 rubles/minute.
- Design selection for more than 10 minutes - 100 rubles/minute.
- Hargain -1000.
- Question about the cost of materials - 800.
- Pronouncing the phrase: “What is so expensive?” - 2000.
- Saying the phrase: "How long?" - 2000.
- Do it yourself - 5000 (nothing personal, office rent, cost of materials and compensation for the master's time and nerves).
- Coming with company (company means girlfriend, husband, children, animals) – 10000.
- Coming with beer (vodka, champagne, moonshine) and a cry: "Happy New Year!" - 15000.
- Lateness - 100 rubles/minute.
During their studies, masters buy training fingers, hands, tips. This is necessary for working out the calculation of the material. Then these objects can be seen in the most unexpected places: the finger is used as a hook for tips, mysteriously protruding from the wall. A hand with a beautiful manicure looks out of the box under the table. Children of customers are very unhappy.
How to become a "favorite" client
Every master has problem clients. The following memo was invented for them:
- First, ask about slag (glack) and gel manicure.
- Continue the conversation in the style of: "Hop-Hop? Why so long? What is there to do?”.
- Make an appointment early in the morning, don't come by appointment and call back in half an hour. Reschedule the visit for the master's lunch time, repeat the manipulation and reschedule the visit for the evening. And then everything is simple - do not pick up the phone.
- Come drunk.
- Come sick. Report sickness at checkoutwith the master ("You sterilize me well after me, I have hepatitis A").
- Put your phone on the table and use it with your free hand.
- Leave the phone in your purse, and when it rings, ask the technician to take it out and put it to your ear.
- Remove gel polish in folk ways and spread information about its dangers.
Among the jokes about manicure there is a funny comic about how a husband scolds his wife for extended nails. She plunges her fingers into his hair and - shryk-shryk - massages, asking: "What did you say, dear?". And he, thrilled by the massage, replies: “For heaven's sake, don't stop.”
Jokes about manicure masters
Often, work takes longer than expected. Children left at home are the first to react. They start calling. The second can not stand the husband - he comes. Since there is not enough space in the office, he is offered to sit in a pedicure chair. Calling it gynecological, he stands at the door. On this occasion, the song "I brought my wife for a manicure" was composed and pictures with a skeleton waiting at the door of the manicure room.
The masters themselves do not share this criticism. They wittily reply: "Hurrying the manicurist is like trying to speed up the computer. There are many operations hidden from your understanding."
From the nail master you can hear sayings:
- It was, but it disappeared, because without a top.
- You can't ruin a hole with a jacket.
- If you work hard, you will receive the Order of the Hunchback.
- Small Swarovski crystal, but expensive.
- Friendship is friendship, andalways want to eat.
The client calls the master and asks to go to his house. The master thinks in his mind what he will have to take: a UV lamp and an ICE lamp, a table lamp, a pair of extension cords, a disinfectant and liquid for it, a sterilizer or dry heat, an apparatus and cutters, a bag with files, napkins and auxiliary liquids, a box of gels, acrylics and a monomer, a box of gel polishes and a box of regular polishes… And he answers: "Yes, of course. I'll call a truck now."
The work of a nail master requires serious knowledge of the chemistry of polymers. Therefore, he looks like Hermione, who mixes drugs to get a potion.
Here is how they talk about their work:
| Work | With love | Without love |
| Professional Made | Art | Craft |
| Unprofessional | Hobby | Hack |
Every real nail master is a philosopher and an artist. Sometimes a psychologist. But always with love for people and for your work.
